


Impossible Truths

by Baroness_Blixen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, the scully family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-02-24
Packaged: 2018-09-26 15:50:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9910028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Baroness_Blixen/pseuds/Baroness_Blixen
Summary: Sometimes logic just doesn't apply.





	

If only Mulder had come with her.

Scully clings to the plate in her hand and fills it up with little homemade snacks. They all look good, she thinks, even if she’s not really hungry. She just needs a moment to herself, away from prying family members she hasn’t seen in years, and the food buffet in the kitchen is the best distraction she can find. And distraction is all she needs.

Because Mulder is not here.

She had asked him (almost begged him) to come with her today to the annual Scully family gathering. Will Bill be there? He had mumbled against her chest, his lips unable to remain still, kissing her, covering everything they could reach. Part of her had wanted to lie; no, no, Bill won’t be there. His mouth on her body, though, it had disarmed her. The other part of her, the one she listened to most days, had reminded her that this was Mulder. The man she loved. She was not going to start lying to him now that they were lovers.

But it doesn’t change anything now: She’s all alone here, plenty of things on her mind, and the looks her family keep throwing her way make it worse. She’s happy, of course she is, to spend time with her brothers – even Charlie made it this year –, her nephews and nieces, her mother. Seeing her cousins, new life partners, taller children – it’s all great, it’s exciting, but…

She just misses Mulder by her side.

Scully really doesn’t know when it started; the feeling must have crept up on her these last few years. Clearly, she can manage her life without him. Except. Something is different today. Something she has not found time to talk about with him (or think about herself, really). She’s late. She’s really late. Logic tells her that it’s a crazy notion; she’s barren, she knows that, and yet. Yet, here she is. Her eyes wander over to her purse. Hidden inside somewhere is a pregnancy test. She bought it on a whim on her way here and now…

If only Mulder were here.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, Dana,” one of her cousins apologizes as she bumps against into her at the buffet, “Are you all right? You look pale. Here, have a sausage.” It’s one of those small, cocktail sausages that Scully loves so much. Her mother probably bought them for her. Right now the combination of the slightly wrinkly texture and the strong, fatty smell makes her dizzy.

“Uhm, I’m fine,” she croaks, willing her body to relax; her stomach doesn’t listen, though, “Excuse me.” The plate clatters loudly as her fingers let go of it. Scully grabs her purse and sprints to the nearest bathroom. She locks the door, her stomach turning and churning, and throws the purse on the ground. Her knees protest loudly as they come in contact with the cold, hard tiles. There’s no time to think as her stomach lets go of its contents.

Flashbacks from her cancer explode before her eyes unasked. Scully closes them, screws them shut, and refuses to think about that. There’s a pregnancy test in her purse. As unlikely as it is, she thinks rinsing her mouth, she has to try it. Take a pregnancy test. Her hands tremble as she unpacks the small, elongated object. Scully knows too well how they work; she’s wasted many of them during the failed IVF attempts. Her eyes catch her reflection in the mirror. Her cousin was right: she does look pale. Her cheeks are hollow, her eyes exhausted and glassy, and her skin just plain waxy.

If Mulder were here he’d tell her to just take the test. He’d tell her not to worry, she thinks as she opens her zipper, pulls down her pants. He’d assure her that everything, no matter what, would turn out just fine. Mulder is a believer like that. Scully smiles, forgets that she’s peeing on a stick for a moment, and clings to thoughts of Mulder.

Someone knocks on the door, startling Scully. She can’t stay in here for another five minutes. Quickly, she wraps the test up in toilet paper and carefully puts in her purse. She stuffs the boxing into the small trash can, not even thinking about it. She flushes the toilet, washes her hands and checks her face again. When she unlocks the door, she’s looking straight into her mother’s eyes.

“Dana, there you are. Honey, what’s the matter? You’re not sick, are you?” Of course there’s no fooling her mother.

“I’m fine, mom.”

“How about you lie down for a bit?” Gently, her mother pushes her into the direction of one of the bedrooms.  

“I’m fine, really.”

“Just relax a bit,” her mother ignores her, “Our family can be quite exhausting.” She chuckles and Scully can’t do anything but listen to her mother. She sits on the bed, still clinging to her purse, feeling exhausted all of a sudden.

“Don’t worry, honey, I’ll make sure no one bothers you. Get some rest.” Her mother kisses her cheek and Scully feels tears dwell up in her eyes. I might be pregnant, mom. The words, however, get twisted in her tongue. So she simply nods, keeps the tears at bay, and remains still until the door softly clicks shut. The tears fall silently now as Scully lies down, clutching her purse, and quickly, without warning, falls asleep.

Even if she had been awake, behind the closed door she would have not heard her mother exclaim loudly: “Why’s there a pregnancy test in the trash?”

“Hey you.”  

“Hmmm.”

“Wakey wakey.” Mulder chuckles next to her, his breath tickling her cheek. Mulder? She must be dreaming. Without opening her eyes, her lips curl upwards into a warm smile. A soft caress on her cheek and she sighs. What a wonderful dream, she decides.

“I miss you, Mulder.” She mumbles, caught between sleeping and waking.

“I’m right here. All you need to do is open your eyes.”

“Hmm?” Scully opens one eye, sees a blurry version of what could be Mulder, and opens the second one. “Take off your shirt.” She demands and he does as he’s told. Scully traces the scar on his shoulder, the one she put there, and yes, this is real, she decides. It’s really him.

“Mulder, what are you doing here?” The words feel like lead on her tongue and she swallows. Her mouth is much too dry. Mulder, as if reading her mind, hands her a glass of water.

“I thought you might want me here after all.” There’s a shy smile playing on his face, slightly tinged with shadows of guilt.

“Hm, always. But why? Why now? I don’t even know what time it is.” She sits up in bed with some difficulty as Mulder puts his shirt back on.

“Your mom said you passed out for like an hour.”

“Oh my god.” An hour. The pregnancy test. The purse is pushed aside and she stares at it now. She fell asleep before she could even think about any of it. And now Mulder is here. She must have dreamed him here. He’d probably love to hear her say - even think - these words.

“Are you all right? Your mother said you weren’t feeling well.” Mulder is rubbing her back and suddenly she understands.

“She called you.” She states and Mulder nods carefully.

“She was worried about you and she thought that uhm, maybe I should be here. Is there anything to worry about, Scully?”

“No,” she answers quickly,“ well, maybe.” She admits, biting her lip, feeling like the purse is now staring at her. Daring her to look at the test.

“Scully? You’re really scaring me here.”

“I’m sorry, Mulder, “she puts her hand on his stubbly cheek, "It’s just… I don’t really know how to say this. We’ve never talked about it before and now- I don’t know how to say it.”

“Scully, you can tell me anything. You know that.” She nods without looking at him.

“I wanted you here all day for this,” she reaches for her purse, “So I guess it’s a good thing I fell asleep.” Scully chuckles and immediately quiets when she catches Mulder’s confused look.

“It’s something we haven’t really talked about. Not… not like this anyway,” his face reminds her that she’s not making any sense, “Maybe it’s all a moot point anyway.” She takes a deep breath, reaches into her purse and takes out the toilet paper wrapped bundle. Glancing at it, she offers it to Mulder instead.

“Uhm, thank you?” He picks it apart layer by crumpled up layer. For a moment he stares at the stick then his face lifts up to meet hers. His lips are opened slightly, ready to say something, but there are no words.

“Is that…”

“A pregnancy test.”

“I… Scully, I thought you… I thought. It wasn’t the IVF, I mean that was, uhm… it really wasn’t the IVF, was it?” Mulder still holds the test in both hands, stares at it like it’s made of gold.

“What does it say?” Her voice quivers, she realizes, and she is thankful that this time she’s not alone.

“You don’t know?” Mulder’s eyes give nothing away but his surprise.

“No, I fell asleep before the time was up. What does it say? Do I want to know?”

“Oh, I think you want to know.” He grins, holding up the stick with shaky hands, showing her the impossible.

She’s pregnant.


End file.
